Warning: Dating While Being a Creative
What is it that makes dating while being a creative so damn complicated? Fresh off of a rainy Valentine’s Day here in North Carolina, I noticed one thing about most of my fellow creatives. There is either a lifetime partner by their side or no one at all. So I had to ask what they think the common denominator is when dating while being a creative, and some answers are well-known facts, and others were just hilariously sad. I have to preface this by saying some people are cool with playing the field (me, I’m “some people”) for a while, and this blog isn’t for them (we’ll have that conversation later). For the ones who keep running into a brick wall while your chasing commitment, this is for you.
A homegirl and I were texting about men and how they start a conversation to “shoot their shot”. I realized that either one or both parties are never really upfront about their intentions. On one side, I believe that pride or fear will not let men be upfront about what they want for the moment because they think most women want to establish a permanent status within a short time. As a result, they fear (and want to avoid) what will happen if they tell a woman that it’s just dating, nothing more, nothing less, which causes the practice of “ghosting” or dealing with someone because they are a time filler. Now add all the strain and stress you experience from creating content for an audience and you have a recipe for poor communication and subliminal posts on social media. Ladies, we contribute to the bullshit as well. I have noticed that there is a specific expectation that most women feel entitled to when it comes to interacting with someone on an intimate level. I don’t blame anyone for valuing themselves at a high level of expecting nothing less than what they deserve. But at times, the love we feel we deserve isn’t reciprocated and being a woman in a saturated male industry adds so much stress to trying to date a man that will just be upfront about what they need.
If that’s not enough, you run into people who just want to use you for your connections. You are always on guard, which caused you to put up a stiff block right away and could cause a good relationship its future. What are ways that we can do better, Brown Beauties? Why is that we give up and opt for the quick fling? I believe it is less that we have to worry about and don’t want to deal with auditions, rehearsals, and more than come around and deal with someone who causes me strife when I’m off. Being a creative is time-consuming and tiring, and if you have someone by your side that can support you and still enjoy being in your company, that is ideal. But I, like many others, or crashing and burning every time we try to fly and overtime, you get tired of trying to find that “real one.” Egos also contribute to the “trouble in paradise” narrative that plagues the dating scene. The thing about dating an artistic person...we do think that our shit is THEE SHIT. Yes, we have many moments of self-doubt and we feel underappreciated but there is the complex of high regard that we sort of HAVE to feel to produce the work and that spills over into our personal lives, very often. Sometimes it feels like we have to control everything and are hesitant about letting someone else do the driving. If we can get over these obstacles and learn how to communicate and comprehend, things will start to look up. It will take a while, but I think we are beginning to get the gist of dating and dating unconventionally. Although we are all working to be better and embrace ourselves and our potential partners, you still should not settle. Learn to express how you feel and be okay if the other person isn’t on the same vibe as you. Take this one day at a time and see where you end up. Dating while being a creative doesn’t have to be hard. It’s all about what you make of it!
About the Author: Germôna Sharp